Nineteen

It's 2:37 AM my time. So instead of going to bed, I'm writing a blog post.

I haven't even looked at this thing in months.

Well, since the last post.

This is going to be rambling, but I don't think I have much to worry about. After all, this isn't a massively popular blog, so I can treat it like a diary that everyone can read. Worst. Diary. Ever.

There's a guy I like. Does he know I exist? The chances are slim.
There's a girl I'm dating. I'm trying to be happy with her, but it's still a struggle.

I'm 19. There's a lot I haven't experienced. She was going to fly me up to where she lives for a few days. While discussing this, she said to bring my favorite dress. I'm... Not really a dress person. Anyway, cutting to the chase, the dress was for me to wear during our symbolic marriage.

I'm 19.

19.

I can't even legally drink and she wants to do a symbolic marriage.

She's obsessed with this idea that we'll live happily ever after. She says that there are some things she just knows.

Like how she knew her and her ex boyfriend were going to get married? Because that totally happened.

I have to admit, after that experience, I am a lot more sympathetic with the stereotypical guy running when their girl starts talking marriage...

Like I said in my previous post, people don't leave for two reasons. Right now, I'm hitting the first category. I don't want to be alone. Even if she drives me crazy, she's still someone that cares. It'd probably be easier if I had someone to go to if I broke up with her, but I don't. I'm tired of online relationships, and my only [incredibly unlikely to ever hit romance] romantic prospects are people online.

Irritatingly ironic.

I'm also thinking about deleting everything I written on this blog in a while. Leave it empty. Oh I'll save the posts somewhere on my flash drive, but I don't think I'll keep them on the internet. Maybe I'll restart the blog at a future time, when I have something other than random points in my life to talk about.